Who does she think she is? And other helpful comments!
24 March 2022
We’ve all been there … you’re fully immersed and excited about your shiny new Virtual Assistant business and suddenly from left field a friend or family member throws in a scathing comment.
‘Yeah, but it will never work …’
‘Who does she think she is?’
‘Why would somebody ask you for support – they can just hire someone full time?’
And one of my favourites … ‘Why don’t you get a proper job?’
Unfortunately, this is an all-too-common issue – when your friends or family don’t share your dreams or your vision It can hold you back and it can stop you showing up when you need to. Even worse these comments can make you question what you are doing and whether you should continue.
Don’t panic! Your thing – doesn’t have to be their thing. They might be completely old school and not understand the VA world or on the online world. They might feel threatened by your new life or they might be completely uninterested. Mostly the negative reactions say more about them than it does about you.
Whichever way- it can hurt. BUT don’t take it personally.
I used to have comments from a husband of a friend of mine– he thought it was funny to mention my social media posts, and mock whatever I had been posting about – then his wife (my friend) joined in. To start with it hurt – and it did make me think twice at times about going live on Facebook or posting my content. Slowly I came to the realisation that I didn’t have to justify my actions or activities to these people. If they didn’t understand my work – it wasn’t my issue. I was making good money and if anything it made me even more determined to succeed.
I know it isn’t this easy for everyone to shrug the negativity off – especially if the negativity is coming from a source which is closer to home. If this is you – find a coping strategy.
Remember your why
Why are you doing this? What is your long term vision? Always keep this in mind when dealing with the Negative Nancys – this will strengthen your resolve to succeed.
Pick and choose who you talk to about your business.
I definitely don’t want a full on download from my husband about his job so I can understand that he might not want one from me – in addition to this – if your husband / partner /significant other is going to be uber negative about what you are doing – think about the effect that this reaction will have on you. Pick and choose who you discuss your business with and to what extent.
Pick and choose who you listen to about your business.
Is the opinion as valid as you are making it in your head. Does this person have experience in the VA world or even the online world? Do they understand your positioning or are they coming from a ‘safer’ place as they know it – is it fear of the unknown that is making them negative? Remember that negative reactions are almost always more about the other person than about you and your business. Listen to those who understand where you are coming from.
Remember – unless they are paying your bills their opinion doesn’t really matter.
My friend and her husband mocking me didn’t really matter – it just dented my ego slightly and wasn’t particularly nice of them. Likewise Great Uncle Bob’s opinion also doesn’t really matter – unless he’s paying your bills, then it is a slightly different story. If the negativity is coming from someone who you rely on financially there are still options. You CAN build up your VA business on the side, part time so go ahead – build it up and always be on the look-out for possibilities rather than obstacles.
They aren’t your ideal client.
These people –the Negative Nancys aren’t your ideal client. It doesn’t actually matter what they think of your marketing or your business. It’s nothing to do with them – they aren’t paying you so put them out of your mind and don’t dwell on them – or their opinions. Focus on those ideal clients.
Find your ‘people’
Find your VA besties – from those going through the exact same struggles as you to those who are more experienced and can offer advice and support. Find your gang of people who will lift you up and hold your hand when things are tough but also celebrate like crazy for you when you achieve. These are the people whose opinion matters. You will find a fab group of VA’s here.
Go to events (if flipping COVID allows), join networking groups – online and offline, work with coaches and speak to other business owners and VA’s. Find your people – make a new gang and work together to succeed – which you will, I just know it!
If you have any questions or want further information feel free to follow me on Facebook, Instagram and Linkedin. Book a 1-1 Strategy call here. Join The VA Networking and Support Group and download The VA Start Up Checklist.
